Wonke umntu unako iphupha leenwele ezingwevu ngenxa yeenkalo ezithile zobuntu, njengoko banako uphupha ukuba amazinyo akho ayawa. Abantu abaninzi banamaphupha abonakala engwevu ezinweleni zabo, kuba ukuhamba kweminyaka kubazisela inkxalabo ethile yokwaluphala. Izinwele ezingwevu luphawu loxanduva, ukukhula kunye nenqanaba elitsha ebomini.
Kweli nqaku uza kuzazi zonke iinkcukacha ezinxulumene nomfuziselo ofana nephupha weenwele ezingwevu, kuba ukutolikwa kwephupha kuyahluka ngokweemeko kunye nomongo ibali elinikwa kuwo. Umzekelo, ayifani ukuphupha kweenwele ezigcwele ngwevu eziwayo (uloyiko lokuguga), ukuya bonisa iinwele ezintle ezingwevu Uhlobo lukaRichard Gere (ukuzithemba).
Yintoni iinwele ezingwevu eziphuphayo zithetha ntoni
Ukuphupha ngeenwele ezingwevu kuthetha ukuba uziva ukhululekile ngendlela izinto eziyiyo ngoku, kodwa kunokwenzeka Kuya kufuneka ivumelane notshintsho oluthile kungekudala, ekukhathazayo kuba awuthandi ukuphuma kwindawo yakho yokuthuthuzela ngenxa yokoyika ukungafiki kulo msebenzi. Musa ukoyika, ngokuqinisekileyo unako ukujongana nawo nawuphi na umngeni!
Ngaba ufumana iinwele zakho zokuqala ezingwevu? Ngokubanzi, eli phupha linokutolikwa okungalunganga, kwaye libonisa oko uqala ukuziva umdala Nokuba kungenxa yoxinzelelo osele ulufumene kwiintsuku ezidlulileyo, okanye ngenxa yokuba uziva ngathi awunamandla okwenza yonke imisebenzi yosuku. Oku kukhokelela ekuzithembeni okuphantsi nasekuqwalaselweni kancinci kokuzinyamekela. Kwelinye icala, oku kukhokelela kwinkangeleko endala. Ukubuyela esiqhelweni ngumbandela wesimo sengqondo!
Olunye utoliko lwamaphupha apho ufumana iinwele ezingwevu kukuba nUtshintsho olutsha luya kutshintsha ubomi bakho (lube ngcono). Unokoyika into enokwenzeka ekuqaleni kuba awunabuchule kutshintsho, kodwa ekugqibeleni uyakubona ukuba uyakuxabisa njani. Ukuba uphupha ngwevu emva kokukhokelela kubomi besiphithiphithi, i-subconscious ikuthumelela umyalezo wokuzola kwaye uyayiva intloko yakho.
Ukuba ubona amadoda amadala anenwele ezingwevu ahleli ecaleni komthi okanye enye into yendalo, oko kuthetha ukuba uyafumana bulumko.
Ngaba unayo ingwevu kwiindevu zakho? Ifanekisela ukuthula, Kwaye ukuba lonke utshintsho olwenzekayo uya kuyazi indlela yokujamelana nazo ngokwesiqhelo.
Ibiyintoni intsingiselo yakho xa uphupha ngeenwele ezimhlophe?
Los amaphupha ngeenwele Banokutolikwa ngeendlela eziliwaka ezahlukeneyo, kuba kuxhomekeke kubalinganiswa bakho nakwimeko ohamba kuyo, inokuba nentsingiselo elungileyo okanye embi.
Ucinga ukuba yintoni i-subconscious efuna ukukuxelela yona? Ngaba sele ufikelele kwinqanaba lokuqola? Ngaba ufanele usilawule ngakumbi isimo sakho sengqondo? Ngaba uzibona kwangaphambili iinguqulelo ezisemnyango?
Sazise kumagqabantshintshi, ukuze abafundi bafunde ezinye izimvo, kuba i-psychoanalysis iphantsi kakhulu.
Ukuba olu lwazi malunga iphupha leenwele ezingwevu, Ndikucebisa ukuba ufunde ngakumbi kwicandelo le- amaphupha aqala ngo-C.
Molo, ndiphuphe iinwele zam ezinde zintle kakhulu kodwa zimhlophe qwa ngombala, kodwa ubuso bam bebumnandi busencinci, kuthetha ntoni?
Ndicinge ukuba, utshintsho oluhle ngokupheleleyo ebomini, uthando, impilo kunye nangaphezulu kwayo yonke impumelelo. Kwaye ndiyathemba ukuba iyakuba njalo.
Ndiphuphe ukuba ndivukile kwaye iinwele zam bezinombala ongwevu (ndingathanda ukuba iinwele zam zibe mhlophe, ndineminyaka engama-49 kwaye andinangonwele ungwevu, andide ndide ndideyishe neenwele zam) ephupheni uvuyo oluninzi, kodwa kwangaxeshanye ukhathazeke.
Ndineminyaka engama-23 kusuku olungaphambi kokuphupha oku, ndafumana unyango kwaye sathetha ngoxinzelelo lokwenza izinto kwaye sikholelwa ekubeni andikwazi. Ephupheni, ndandizithanda iinwele ezingwevu njengoko ndandinazo, kuba zazingumtya omhlophe, kwaye ezinye zandenza ndaziva ndingaqhelekanga ngathi "hayi, ndifuna ukubuyela kwizinwele zam ezindala." Ndicinga ukuba inento yokwenza nolu tshintsho, kukho indawo endithanda ukuyitshintsha, kwaye enye iyandoyikisa, indenza ndizive ndingakhuselekanga.
Molo, ndiphuphe ukuba basuse iinwele ezimhlophe kodwa ezimdaka kwaye impendulo yam ibiyinto ecaphukisayo kuba ndiyazithanda iinwele ezingwevu kwaye ukutolikwa kwam kukuba iinwele ezingwevu zinobomi obude kuba izimvi ziyintsingiselo yobomi
Izolo ndiphuphe ndinenwele zam eziqhelekileyo eziqhelekileyo kwaye ndazijonga esipilini xa ngequbuliso ndifumene isitshixo esikhulu senwele ezingwevu ndothuswa kukubona ukuba lilokhi enkulu nje, ndingathanda ukwazi ukuyitolika
Igama lam nguIvone Hernández, kwaye iphupha lam yayikukuba ingcambu yonke yeenwele yayimhlophe, xa ndandiphambi kwesipili ndavula naliphi na icandelo leenwele kwakumhlophe kangangokuba nesikhumba sokhakhayi sasikhangeleka siyipinki yenyama, ndothuswa yile nto kuba kuphela ziingcambu, zonke iinwele eziseleyo zazimnyama. Iinwele zam zinde. Ndathi xa ndixelela usapho lwam kwaye ndilufundisa le nyani, bandixelela ukuba besele ndimdala, eyona nto ingumnqa kukuba kwangaxeshanye ndiphuphe ndiselwandle kwaye bendiselunxwemeni kwaye ngequbuliso iinyawo zam zamanzi ngelixesha ukuhamba. Ndineminyaka engama-32 ubudala kwaye ngelifa ndine-wisp engwevu ebunzi, kuphela apho.
Igama lam nguIvone Hernández, kwaye iphupha lam yayikukuba ingcambu yonke yeenwele yayimhlophe, xa ndandiphambi kwesipili ndavula naliphi na icandelo leenwele kwakumhlophe kangangokuba nesikhumba sokhakhayi sasikhangeleka siyipinki yenyama, ndothuswa yile nto kuba kuphela ziingcambu, zonke iinwele eziseleyo zazimnyama. Iinwele zam zinde. Ndathi xa ndixelela usapho lwam kwaye ndilufundisa le nyani, bandixelela ukuba besele ndimdala, eyona nto ingumnqa kukuba kwangaxeshanye ndiphuphe ndiselwandle kwaye bendiselunxwemeni kwaye ngequbuliso iinyawo zam zamanzi ngelixesha ukuhamba. Ndineminyaka engama-32 ubudala kwaye ngelifa ndine-wisp engwevu ebunzi, kuphela apho.
Okwangoku ndinengxaki ekhaya kwaye andithembi. Yobhi.
Ndiphuphe umhlobo wam ekudala ndingamboni encoma iinwele zam ezimhlophe kwaye wandibuza ukuba ndinento yokwenza iinwele, ndamxelela ngumbala wam wendalo (oyinyani), wandixelela ukuba ndimhle
Molo, ndiphuphe i-whipish kunye ne-wavy yeenwele kodwa ndinemigca emhlophe eyonwabileyo. Kodwa ukuzama ukufihla umhlophe
Ndiphuphe ndinenwele ende emhlophe emhlophe yandothusa kodwa kwangaxeshanye ndizolile.
Molweni, ndiphuphe ndizibona esipilini ndazibona ndizogqunywe ngwevu ezingwevu nesilivere kwaye ziyakhazimla, zazijikeleze intamo yam entloko kwaye ecaleni kobuso bam ndandixakiwe.
Kwiintsuku ezi-2 ezidlulileyo (ngolwesiHlanu, Agasti 06, 2021) Ndiphuphe ndineenwele ezinde ezingwevu ekuvulekeni kwempumlo yam, ndothuka xa ndavuka ndahlala phantsi ukuzama ukubaziva, kodwa babehambile kwaye ushiye amathandabuzo.
Ndiphuphe ndicheba ingwevu zikamzala wam nge ngwevu, kuba ibingabonakali ncam kuye, bendimana ndiyicheba yade yancinci.